Rules of Engagement: Traveling for a Family Wedding

As a tradition steeped in our society’s culture with different roots in religion, region and family tradition, weddings come with a lot of history. With all that history, tradition and various cultural significance, there are bound to be more than a few rules of engagement, so to speak.

But, how important are all of these rules today? A lot. Especially when you’re loading up the car, plane or train for a destination wedding. Avoid making significant wedding faux paux and follow along with some of the older, but still current, wedding etiquette rules.

Wearing White

One obvious no-no, but still a significant rule to follow, it’s next to never appropriate to wear white to a wedding. Unless the invitation states specific instructions asking the guests to wear white, or the wedding party is wearing white, the only person in the hue should be the bride or groom depending on the type of wedding — even when the kids are involved. While they might look cute at a beachy wedding in light colors nearing white and off-white, it’s still not quite acceptable in most cases.

This etiquette 101 rule is more about not drawing too much attention away from the happy couple in general and extends beyond just upstaging the bride or groom as a whole.

The Gift Registry

Whether or not you’re able to attend the wedding, invited guests are typically expected to send a gift. The gift registry is definitely the preferred resource for guests; it’s also acceptable to send a check or thoughtful gift of your own. Generally, everyone buys from the gift registry, but for those much closer friends and family that have a thoughtful gift in mind, the registry becomes just a suggestion.

For those with older kids receiving their own invitation and plus one, a card, check and/or gift from them is proper etiquette — they can only ride the gravy train of group gifts for so long.

Bringing the Little Ones

While there may be a flower girl and ring bearer in the ceremony, kids are generally not invited to wedding receptions, even if you’re traveling from out of town. While they are, of course, part of the family, guests should never just assume the bride and groom would be okay with additional guests, no matter what size. If you are close with the couple, check with them before accepting the invitation. If other kids are coming, it may be acceptable, but it’s better to be sure before planning.

Sending Invitations

Just because someone invited you to their wedding, it doesn’t mean you have to invite them to yours and vice versa. Also, even if you know the guests can’t make your wedding, send an invitation anyway. It may seem like a waste of money and resources, but, in the long run, it’s a nice thought to make them still feel included.

RSVPs

These are not a suggestion — it’s a helpful tool for the couple in planning their wedding. Deciding and planning whether or not you can attend a wedding should be done as soon as possible, send the RSVP and let the couple get on with their plans.

It may seem like you need to take your time in deciding, especially if it’s a destination wedding, but plan early when you get the save the dates. There is a lot to consider, from arranging your family’s schedule to where to stay and how to get there — you don’t want to rush into a decision, but you also don’t want to leave the couple hanging.